Getting to know Felicity

My earliest memory is that of sitting on the foot end of a single bed in the company of a very old lady who was snug in bed. My mother told me it would have been my grandmother who lived with our family of 5 children at the time. I would have been around 3 years old back in 1961. Apparently I loved going to her room and being with her. My mum died just over a year ago at the great age of 91. I think of her often and the similarities and differences they shared at the end of their lives. One thing was the same, they both had many family members around them to provide care. My dad is still alive and nearing 93. He has health problems. Can’t walk because he wore his knees out farming. Can’t cook for himself. He has accepted meals-on-wheels 3 times a week and some government assisted house cleaning support. One of my sisters organises his medications and others share support tasks and visits so that dad has company every day. He thrives on companionship, drying fruit in summer and cracking almonds in winter, and is a voracious reader. We wish he would accept more help. He thinks it’s more than enough fuss and his family can fill in the gaps. Because we are a large resourceful group there may not need to be too many new changes however if he loses the ability to stand then home life will not be possible. There are ongoing discussions about this and we will adjust as his health changes. Having elderly parents who could not be totally independent in the past few years has impacted on me in practical and emotional ways. Like they say ‘you need a village to bring up a child’, well, you also need a large group of people to support an elderly person too, as well as support each other.

Life is mostly something that rolls on by and we take many things for granted. Until things change. Some people have large resourceful family or friend networks, some are isolated. Some are very healthy, some have very complicated lives with frequent trauma patches. It varies one person to the next. I know that difficulties face everyone at some time in their lives. Living with health and independence changes, living with sorrows and griefs, these are components of normal life. What our resources are and how we use them is very different person to person and can mean the difference between a life of coping or suffering.

I am a Registered Nurse and have studied and worked in Community Health, Mental Health, Aged and Palliative Care. Never one to shy away from responsibility (I learned about it within my large farming family), and right from my early days, I have been interested in the living experience of older people, people living on the margins and with capacity and independence issues. I feel for people who live alone, have minimal family or few friends and little to look forward to in their everyday. It’s quite common to hear of elderly people who do have children but they live in other parts of the world and cannot be of day to day help even if they wished they could be. It is in such circumstances that I want to help and make a positive difference. A driving force that has helped me in my caring roles is “If not you, who. If not now, when?” I want to be there at those times when people could benefit from a little extra support, information and direction. If I can’t be that person or find the right solution then I have a responsibility to find it from someone else.

I can hardly believe I have been nursing for 37 years – 30 of which have been at coordinator, manager and director level. In this time I have learnt a lot about what is available for people of all ages both from government sources as well as private providers. Several co-workers have been fantastic mentors and many I still count as friends and people I can tap into for resource information.

Today we have many options other than family for support and information – the internet being one. My website was developed to complement my new business development in 2015. It is a resource that anyone seeking information about aged care options can refer to. When visiting people to offer my help in finding pathways to accessing different services I will be using it also – whether it be for home based services, linking with community organisations for help or socialising opportunities, or if care needs are complicated in finding the right type of residential care facility to cater for people’s specific wishes and individual needs.

I want to be of real practical help to people. I want to engage with people, to ensure that the pathways we investigate and the solutions eventually chosen are the right ones, matching the expectations and needs that are individual in each person. I want to help people avoid hospitalisation or health decline wherever possible and be part of the solution which enables them to rediscover the joy of living – no matter what their health issues or emotional struggles. I want to help people live with improved degrees of enjoyment and meaning until they die and I want to be a support person to their family or close friends. I also want to inform and assist service providers to learn more about being an effective helper and to understand the ever changing aged care system in Australia.